Excerpts from a Washington DC Airline Ticket Agent
(funny)
A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle
seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an
airplane!)
2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke),
who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight
and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying
to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts ''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ''
his response -- click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida
package
we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was
expecting an ocean-view room. I tried t o explain that's not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and
Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible
to see
England from Canada
?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG,
again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if
he could rent a car in
Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover
in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard
Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save
time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to
know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and
got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois
, but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her
the plane went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put
your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to
whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
he replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline,
they put a tag on my luggage that said
(FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked
into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for
Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting
a destination tag on his luggage.
8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package
to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper
to fly to California and then
take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D) from
Alaska who
asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied,
''I was told my flight number is
823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''
10. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola
, Florida . Do I
have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
11. Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question about the documents
she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports,
I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many
times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required
a visa. When I told her this she said,
''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American
Express!''
12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to
make reservations, ''I want to go from
Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally
offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do
you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
Now you know why the Government is in
the shape that it's in!
Could anyone be this DUMB?
YES,
THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.
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