I used to have a Labrador retriever, and I was buying a large bag of

Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I

had a dog(?). On impulse, I told her that, no, I was starting The Purina

Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the

hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an

intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices, and IVs in

both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that

the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and

simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, and that the food is

nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by

now enthralled with my story,

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been

sitting in the street licking my butt and a car hit me.

Moral:Be careful of Fad diets you try.