Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids.........
Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and
plastered;
And when the price
of pork went up,
She shot the little
bastard.
********************
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it
dead.
Now it goes to school
with her,
Between two hunks of
bread.
******** ************
JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot
the pill
And now they have a
son.
********************
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to
the fair.
Said Simple Simon to
the Pie man,
"What have you
got there?"
Said the Pie man unto
Simon,
"Pies, you Dumb
Ass
********************
HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a
great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings'
men
Had scrambled eggs
For breakfast again.
********************
HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a
piddle,
All over the bedside
clock.
The little dog laughed
to see such fun.
Then died of electric
shock.
********************
GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and
made them cry.
And when the boys came
out to play,
He kissed them too
'cause he was gay
********************
There was a little girl who had a
little curl
Right in the middle
of her forehead.
When she was good,
she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat,
jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.